My working week... at the auction house, 'South Ken'
Friday 18th May
Stationed in the 'Europa Room' all day, I guarded/ assisted in the viewing of "property from a Chelsea townhouse" a random collection of items all once belonging to someone far too wealthy who had rather eclectic and ostentatious taste. To pass the time, I moved between the patches of sunlight (sunlight!) filtering in through the skylights, and shifted from rug to rug as my heeled feet began to ache after several hours standing with little distract me from the pain. The carpets provided some relief. Of the 12 pairs of shoes I brought with me, not one pair is both flat-soled and suitable to Christie's dress code. I can forsee this becoming problematic. I witnessed the first breakage to occur since I've been at Christie's. A small glass fell out of a box whilst being transported upstairs to a viewing room for display. I didn't ask it's value. But the porter responsible did not seem too concerned. Christie's insurance cover is quite extensive I believe. 7 hours in the one room with sparse human traffic could get tiring but I try to chat with anyone who comes my way. As well as occasionally talking with viewers and joking with other staff, I am hiding a Shakespeare sonnet or two in my apron pocket to memorise and keep my brain active.
Saturday 19th
In silverware for the weekend I had to endure the crazy silverware dealers, snorting and sneering as they violently rummaged through the cutlery, platters and teapots. I think their tactic is to trash the items (verbally, I mean) out loud to the other dealers in an attempt to put them off bidding for items that they are after, saying “oh, this is all junk” and the like. I was quite stunned at the way they clashed around the objects, hundreds of pounds in value. A breed of their own.
Sunday 20th
More of the same in silverware but even zanier dealers.
Monday 21st
Today- 19th Century British Ceramics and glassware (minus at least 1 item from friday’s accident. A little nerve-wracking being around the fragile glass but no breakages by me, yet.
Tuesday 22nd
I spent the day in the ‘Long Gallery’ overseeing 19th Century European paintings. Could only find one that I really liked. Who buys this stuff? I worked late as there was a function on; a late view, invite only, of a sale called “elements” – mantle-pieces, bird-baths, garden ornaments, another odd collection. A few fancy looking people showed up, but it was pretty tame. Nice hors-d’oeuvres.
Wednesday 23rd
I learnt about catching buses in peak hour. I started catching the bus rather than the tube to and from work out of laziness – less distance to walk on either side, and no having to change from one tube to another. However, the 25 minute bus ride of yesterday became an hour and 15 minute journey! It was apparently also lengthened by the advent of the Chelsea Flower show opening. Fortunately, I’d made some allowance for peak traffic and was only 5 minutes late. I worked in the front gallery, same collection of paintings but more traffic passing through as it is the first gallery after reception, so more people to talk to, more questions to answer. Hours passed a little bit more quickly. It is quite amusing that tea and lunch breaks are arranged from the moment I walk in to work. It seems very high priority here.
Thursday 24th
The tube in peak hour is hot and stinky. Nobody talks or smiles (not surprisingly).
I was on meet-and-greet duty in the front gallery again for the morning, but after my first tea break (we get at least two as well as lunch!), I got to be more useful. I helped with the removal of paintings, (and removing the nails too), in a reverse order to their lot numbers, so that during the auction, they are held up in correct ascending order. I also assisted in this job during the afternoon sale of the ugly paintings I’d been watching over for a few days; For internet bidders, the auctions are videoed and can be viewed on the internet live. So had you tuned in this afternoon to Christie's live, you could have seen me displaying these ugly artworks in the manner of a sale-of the century hostess.

Aside from great pay for doing very little and the prestige, of course, another perk of my job is the subsidised lunches. For 40p, I can get a cup of hot fresh vege soup; for 80p a plate of main meal with salads (and there are always vegetarian options) and dessert for 40p. And they are always very substantial and quite delicious. This is why the organisation of breaks is top priority, no doubt.
That is all I have to account for almost 60 hours of my life this week- spent on my feet!! Thank goodness for Jacobie lending me her flat shoes.